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Itachi-san

[ website | Naruto High School ]
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(no subject) [Mar. 29th, 2006|12:32 am]
Itachi-san
[mood |apatheticwhatever]

Finally. It's spring break.

I have been so wrapped up in my studies that I've neglected my journal.

First, my mother is now pregnant. Who knows who the father is. Please let it not be the garbage man. I do not need a retarded brother. One's bad enough.

Second, I'm home and I don't like it. It's awkward, and I can't even be in my room for ten minutes without being interrupted or hearing another argument or another one of my mother's... acquaintances... attempting to sneak in our home but failing miserably.

My father has also dissapeared. Chances are he's at Chuck E. Cheeses having a gay old time and giggling his ancient ass off the airport still, lecturing a random passenger on the greatness of the clan. ...I hope he runs out of complimentary peanuts and starves to death.

I met a blonde girl (I think her name was Ee-no.) who shared the same interest in culinary as me and I believe it's safe to say our skill levels match.

*ignores the exploding oven in the background*

I think Sasuke went through my stuff and stole my cellphone.
link27 comments|post comment

(no subject) [Dec. 10th, 2005|01:30 am]
Itachi-san
[mood |pissed offpissed off]

I am blinded.

Please clothe yourselves.

Oh. Those are bathing suits.

Disgusting.

Oh well. Switching all the sunblock lotion with cooking oil proved entertaining for the time being. And in the future as well.

Happy skin cancering.
link14 comments|post comment

(no subject) [Nov. 24th, 2005|12:13 am]
Itachi-san
[music |Why do they play Christmas music this early?]

I am going home for the holidays.

Hopefully Sasuke and I won't end up fighting again instead of giving thanks. Last time we were so loud with our obscenities and moaning hateful language that we apparently ruined the next-door neighbor's family dinner and he even dragged his lardass over here showed up at our door to lecture us. It wasn't enjoyable. So I killed him and we will be using his corpse as a Halloween decoration.

I hate turkey.
link8 comments|post comment

(no subject) [Nov. 16th, 2005|07:31 pm]
Itachi-san
Yes, yes - I am still alive. Breathing. Living. Being so goddamn sexy. What have you.

I ran over an elderly lady today. And then didn't stop. I suppose that's called "hit-and-run." My mistake. I guess that means I have to stay out of the public eye for a bit. Because I mauled a few individuals in the gathering crowd as well. My god, people. Mind your own business.

Kisame, if it's so damn cold, get out. I like it like this. Don't order me around. Or I'll burn your Mr. Sharkie and we'll use that for warmth.
link35 comments|post comment

(no subject) [Oct. 23rd, 2005|01:35 am]
Itachi-san
[mood |hungryhungry]

Kisame blew up the kitchen. Right after we just stocked up on the groceries too. Damn. Idiot.

Now I'm famished and there's nothing to eat. I also have no money. I suppose I could drive back home and load Sasuke's fridge into my car and drive it back to the dorm take some food and some money from my incompetent brother.

...

Ugh. I think my stomach is starting to devour itself.
link7 comments|post comment

(no subject) [Oct. 16th, 2005|04:50 pm]
Itachi-san
[mood |frustratedfrustrated]

Some baffoons attempted to set fire to the frathouse. I would kill them if I remembered who they were, but Kankuro started smoking into my face and I guess I got second-hand high (if that's even a term) and I don't recall anything. Except a few distinct things I would rather not.

Apparently, people who are "heartbroken" get over it pretty quickly.

Which led to the huge conflict at the frathouse last night. To prevent making it any worse, I won't go into details. Sasori crashed in my dorm. Unfortunately, or fortunately I needed a bigger bed at that time and a lot of personal spaces were invaded. I did not get enough sleep and now I am tired and frustrated.

And I hate this medicine. *chucks prescription across room* It keeps giving me very persistant dreams about Sasuke I wish would just end.
link11 comments|post comment

(no subject) [Oct. 15th, 2005|02:47 pm]
Itachi-san
[mood |scared...]

Deidara is getting sick because he wasn't taking that medicine the incompetent doctor gave us. And since I have an important test this week, I decided it would be wise if I didn't cough up blood on the papers and took some of that dreadful stuff. That drug gave me the weirdest dreams. Involving my brother. *furrows brows and shifts uncomfortably* I am stranger than I knew myself to be.

Kankurou stole my homework and nail polish when he apparently broke into the fraternity and went through all our things. I cannot locate him as of this moment, and I am going to kill someone. My nails cannot stay without a fresh coat of paint for more than four days, got it?!

I bought a sword earlier this week. It's gorgeous. Imagine all the heads I can hack off with this. I am completely ecstatic.

Tenten, I am sorry. I tried to warn you.
link49 comments|post comment

(no subject) [Oct. 4th, 2005|10:41 am]
Itachi-san
Deidara broke his bed. Again.

I swear we have to bandage up his hands or something.

So he bought a new metal bed. And I offered my and Kisame's help in situating it inside his room. Kisame and Deidara were clearing the pathway as I was dragging that furniture up the stairs. Then Sasori's dear old grandmother decided to come pay us a visit. She came stomping up the stair screeching about how we poisoned her water or something to that ridiculous extent. Out of sheer joy of seeing her, I... accidently let go of the bed and it came tumbling and crashing onto her.

...We'll get the bed in his room after we clean off the blood and toss the body somewhere in the bushes.
link42 comments|post comment

(no subject) [Oct. 2nd, 2005|06:26 pm]
Itachi-san
Women are headaches. And that's all I have to say on the topic.

I'm still trailing after every damn flyer Deidara and Sasori has stuck on the school and burning it. Bastards. I've tried getting my stalkers the fangirls my female acquaintances to pick them up for me, but they always ogle over it and gush over how cute it is. It is not cute. It is not funny. Any one who thinks it is should set their oven to nine hundred degrees and stuff themself in it.

Working at PetKo is great. Everyone who works there now belongs to the Akatsuki Fraternity. It is like the dorm. Except with the loud, obnoxious animals and the smell. At least we cut down on the sqawking earlier this week when Deidara tried to unclog the toilet with one of his clay spiders and ended up wiping out one-fourth of the store. Alas.

Kankurou, I want my dil- I mean, possession back.
link24 comments|post comment

(no subject) [Sep. 20th, 2005|10:29 pm]
Itachi-san
Alright. I have not been around.

Because apparently, prank calling the CIA is frowned upon. They have a fucking good tracking system too. So I barely got away and had to break some bones in the process. Back to prank calling Sasuke it is. This time, it's the police in need of your assistance, foolish little brother!

Onto other things, the Akatsuki Fraternity is hosting a trash collection day this weekend. Donate your trash, your toxic waste, even your annoying cousin. We will tranfer these items to a place where it does not pose harmful to the enviornment basically Sasori's grandmother's house and even give participants community service hours. You know you need these hours, you high school students. Colleges are hard to get into these days, and community service hours always look great on an application. Trash collection starts at 11 AM and will end at 10 PM.

Working at PetKo is more enjoyable than I first thought. Having the Akatsuki fraternity there always makes the job eventful. Deidara, you should apply too. We could always use some explosions whenever things get slow or there's too many customers.

I just remembered something.

Sasori, Deidara - I am going to kill you.
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